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Happy Valentine's Day in a Changing World.


I have always believed that the biggest gift one can give to their children is unconditional love, memories, and a safe happy place that one can return to when the world gets cruel, the art of building healthy boundaries and fill their bucket of self esteem so high that the world cannot poke enough holes in them, and of course a good education. Education that will cover careers that have not yet been born or named. That was the one thing, I split hair over when my now 14 year old started schooling. Back then, we felt the world was changing.

Enter 2022 and ChatGPT, and the world has again been thrust into change. It has been heartbreaking to see layoffs from firms that people would kill to be a part of, firms that were to be home away from home, all because of the paranoia that the world is changing. We will evolve to having careers more fulfilling.

It is never easy to look at the practical landscape of our lives and see our hardwork and plans fall down like a house of cards, so fragile that we never realise how they had held up all these years. One does what they can to get by, and we are stronger than we think we are, and can really thrive. For now, it may be solace to know that seen through a lens of time, career's and jobs are passing. What matters is we love ourselves, be kinder to ourselves and know that through this all we will thrive.

I grew up on the 80's philosophy that my mum would often repeat " Tough times never last, but tough people do", and we are phoenix's that will thrive.

As a tarot reader, I have come to realise that the entire existentialist crisis of man, as expressed through the four elements of passions (fire), emotions (water), intellect (air) and sustenance (earth) can be summed up in two broad themes love ( for others, ourselves, our fire and passion in projects and our intellectual in making the choices of commitment, of a path we chose) and money (security, stability, financial means and what they equate to).

These two themes then cover the range of the human emotions and every spectrum of thought within it!!

Today being Valentine's Day, I thought I would wish you all a wonderful Valentine's Day along with my two bit!!

But first, as any history buff would appreciate, a brief history of this cherished tradition. Valentine's Day has its roots in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated in mid-February. The festival was a time of feasting, mating, and the exchange of gifts and love notes. Over time, Lupercalia evolved into the Christian holiday of Saint Valentine's Day, which was dedicated to a 3rd-century Christian martyr named Valentine. The exact origins of Saint Valentine and the story behind his association with the holiday are somewhat shrouded in mystery, with several different versions of the tale in circulation. However, the most widely accepted story is that Valentine was a priest who defied the Roman emperor's ban on marriages and continued to perform weddings in secret. He was eventually imprisoned and executed for his actions.

As the holiday evolved over the centuries, it became a celebration of love and romance, with couples exchanging gifts and messages of affection. The modern version of Valentine's Day, with its emphasis on cards, flowers, and chocolates, has its roots in the Victorian era, when the tradition of sending love letters and tokens of affection became popular. Today, Valentine's Day is celebrated around the world as a day to show love and appreciation for one's partner, family, and friends.

So when I make a Twin Flame Reading or for that matter a Relationship Reading I am generally asked, "Yes!! But is this the one? Is this my forever relationship?"

Sigh!! How many heartbreaks we would've saved if we could have just answered that for ourselves!! But I've realised that broken hearts are as hard to avoid as skinned knees, and they both serve a purpose in our lives.

We can leave behind toxic relationships if we are strong and run!! But until we address within us what allowed for those toxic relationships, we will still attract more of the same to ourselves.

So, in my humble opinion, Love needs to start with ourselves. In order to have healthy, fulfilling relationships with others, it's important to first have a healthy, positive relationship with oneself. When people love and accept themselves, they are less likely to engage in negative self-talk or self-destructive behaviour, and they are more likely to treat others with kindness, compassion, and respect. On the other hand, when people have a negative self-image or are constantly critical of themselves, they may struggle to form healthy, meaningful relationships with others.

Loving oneself also involves taking care of one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being, respecting onesself and feeling worthy of being treated with respect.This can include engaging in self-care activities, pursuing personal interests and hobbies, and seeking support from friends and family when needed. By taking care of oneself, people are better equipped to offer love and support to others, and they are less likely to become overwhelmed or exhausted by the demands of relationships. By learning to love and accept ourselves, we can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships with others.

So when I am asked, "Will this be my forever relationship?" I usually smile indulgently and explain how a relationship is more like a plant. Some people have green thumbs and can just make things thrive, others need to love themselves better and commit to a regime of self care, before they can begin to plant something.

One can view relationships as plants in the sense that both require care, attention, and nurturing in order to grow and thrive. Just like plants, relationships can flourish with the right conditions, but can also wither and die if neglected, making it impossible to revive them-a sad malady of modern life.

In the same way that different plants have different needs for light, water, and soil, different relationships have different requirements for communication, affection, and support. And just like with plants, some relationships may be more difficult to cultivate and maintain, while others may come more easily.

It's important to remember that, like plants, relationships require regular attention and care in order to grow and flourish. This may mean regularly checking in with your partner, making time for each other, and being open and honest about your needs and feelings. It may also mean finding ways to resolve conflicts and disagreements in a healthy and constructive manner.

Just as a gardener must be patient and persistent in their care of plants, we must be patient and persistent in our care of our relationships. With time, effort, and a willingness to grow and learn, both plants and relationships can flourish and bring beauty and joy into our lives.

It is said that Fairy tales often end with the phrase "happily ever after" because they are meant to provide a sense of closure and resolution to the story. This ending serves to reinforce the moral or lesson of the story and to offer hope and inspiration to the reader or listener. The phrase "happily ever after" implies a state of perpetual happiness and contentment, but in reality, maintaining a happy relationship takes effort, dedication, and hard work.

No one wants a fantasy story with practical matters like a roof over the head, food on the table, bills to be paid, children to be nurtured, help through sickness, combating toxic relatives, and showing up for each other when you would rather just crawl away and have not much to say!! Fairy tales finish at happily ever after, since happily ever after is back breaking labour!!

Relationships require compromise, communication, and a willingness to grow and evolve together.

It's also important to recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and there will be challenges and obstacles along the way. However, when both partners are committed to working through these challenges and supporting each other, they can build a strong, lasting bond.

In short, while the idea of "happily ever after" is appealing, the reality of maintaining a happy relationship is much more complex. It takes effort, dedication, and a willingness to work together to make it a success. But with the right approach, it is possible to build a relationship that is fulfilling, meaningful, and enduring.

So today's to the unconventional approach of doing what you have always done, if you are in a supportive relationship!! If, however, your relationship doesn't tick those boxes, then today on the day that commemorates St Valentine, it is a good day to make a commitment to love yourself, partner yourself and then look out to what it is you want.

Fairy tales do come true, if you believe they can happen to you,and if you are willing to work for them!! And Life is too long to live alone and unfulfilled. So today's to you, my dear reader and to lots and lots of love in your life.

Have a Blessed Valentine's Day!!


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